iMetro

Another week behind us. Since this week's entry is long, I'll spare you my vagina monologue. But first, take a look at my breakfast of champions:

Yumm yummm!! You know I'm black!!

My coworker and I just saw the aborigine outside. Today he was talking aloud to himself, with his cow tail attached to his waist.

"Portable AC?"

Metroman,

Have you seen any of these around yet?

Regards,
Paul H.

I saw one for the first time earlier this week, at metro center. In the comments section of my entry mocking the huge fans, a fellow iMetro reader informed me of these units. I havent had the opportunity to see how cool the emitted air is though. It would seem that a motor on something that big would also generate a lot of heat. I believe I read that the air conditioning at Metro Center has been repaired though. I havent been through that way much this week, as I've been commuting from College Park. Thanks for the submission!! ______________________________
"Random Braid On Train Seat"

I saw this last Monday evening on a train going towards Glenmont. This is not the first time I've seen a random braid on a train or bus seat before.

I don't get it. Who takes weave hair and braids it to the back of a train seat?! That is bizarre!

What are they doing, marking their territory with a braid?! Ugh!

Later during this train ride, some rusty-butt boys got on and started braiding and unbraiding it. Ew!

(Note: The woman in the seat with the braid DID NOT put it there---it was there when she got there. She was fiddling with her necklace.)

The stuff I see on Metro, I tell you!

Ha! Now why in the hell is the braid tied to the railing? Was this an evil prank? A while back, we had a submission where someone's hair extended back over the railing, and we mentioned tying it to the railing. It would be funny if this was the case. One thing is for certain...ghetto! Ghetto girls take their braids out in public... Thanks for the submission, and thanks for reading iMetro, the world's most mediocre blog. Not always right, but never in doubt!! LOL!!!

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"DC Metro status on your iPhone is back!"

MetroMan,

You and your readers should know about this - http://echodittolabs.org/node/90!

Awesome isn’t it?

Even more in love with my iPhone,

Hey, thanks for informing us of that. Having a pocket full of coolness (aka iPhone) myself, I'll definitely give it a try! Thanks for the submission!

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"(no subject)"

Was on the blue line train that broke down today at Federal Center. Train was bouncing and grinding down the tracks after L'Enfant, don't know why they let us get that far. Anyway, ever wonder what is under those middle seats? Well here is the best pic I could get.

Hey, thanks for that pic.

I was affected by the broken down train. I had to wait in the depths of metro hell since they decided to single track. This is what wmata is reporting: "5:11 p.m. An Orange Line train at Federal Triangle in the direction of Vienna was taken out of service because of a mechanical problem, and customers were required to exit the train. A following train was taken out of service and used to push the disabled train to the rail yard. Trains shared one track between Smithsonian and McPherson Square Metrorial stations. Customers experienced significant delays. "

Maybe you were on the train that was used to push the other train? I dunno...either way, Friday evening was terrible.

Thanks for the pic. It's nice to know that rail cars are equipped with a couple of oars...just in case the train plunges into the river. WTF?

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"Red line shinanagans"

Being an orange liner I haven't had a chance to have the lovely experience that the red line riders get...until today.

My girlfriend and I are headed to union station so we can go up to NYC for the weekend and have a 7pm train. We meet up near my work around 515 assuming we will get there within thirty minutes...wrong!

Once we arrive we get the burst of wonderful heat I have been reading about. Once we make our way upstairs we get on. The crowded platform towards glenmont. Of course we don't get on the first train due to the crowd but that's not a big deal. Within a few minutes we get on a train that's nice an cool and we should go in a few minutes after the typical "we will be holding momentarily". Then sure enough the conductor says there's a sick customer on the next train. We wait another minute and we then get told because of this the trains out of service. Sigh.

So now we are on the platform hotter and even more crowded than before. Soon after standing we get told to go to the other side because there will be a train coming for glenmont. Some people flock that direction some don't which confuse us. We confirm with a cop this is the right thing and that he doesn't know why people are still on his platform. So we continue our merry way with the rest of the crowd when we see a lovely glenmont train! Argh!

So we see people start running everywhere at which point I think the up escalator stops working because of the mass going down. We decide to say screw metro and hail a cab for ten dollars to finally get there.

How can metro employees give out false information like that? WTF?

Aww man that sucks! I hope you guys made it to your train on time. Welcome to the red line. Your experience can be matched by all who read this blog. It's a shame. What gets me is that as often as shit hits the fan on metro, why is every occurence handled like its the first time it ever happened? It's a shame that employees don't really seem to have a grasp of whats going on, leading to misinformed customers.

How was NYC? Did you bring me back anything? Some White Castles, perhaps? Thanks for sharing your escapade with us!!

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"RAD"

Due to ongoing delays, mislabeled and overcrowded trains, rowdy tourists, little girls on their way to the Jonas Brothers concert, and people who lack deodorant - i have acquired the latest mental disorder- RAD (redline anxiety disorder)

LOL!! That's great. I can honestly say that we've all experienced this disorder at some point in time this summer. Now all we need is a commercial for some prescription drug that shows us having fun...or sitting in a bath tub in the middle of the woods, smiling.

Thanks for the diagnosis, and thanks for reading iMetro. Tell 4 friends!!

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"Cover-up job?"

Hi Metro Man,

I heard about it a couple days ago on twitter, then saw it with my own eyes on the blue line this morning: someone had taped posters over the window between the driver's compartment and the passenger area of the train so that nobody could see (or videotape) what the driver is doing. Genius solution! Seriously, does Metro think this is OK?

Would've snapped a pic but I saw this from the platform as the train came barreling in to Braddock Rd station this morning.

Oh my!! Are you serious!?!? This is both hilarious, and tragically sad at the same time. But as per usual, it is not surprising in the least bit. Why worry about "video vigilantes" if you're doing what you're supposed to be doing? That just screams guilt. I wish we could hear justification of this from their [train operators] perspective. I tell you...I wouldn't be surprised if we get reports of a confrontation involving a metro train operator and a person with a camera phone in the future. I hope it's not me getting my ass beat by a train operator though...they are pretty gangsta! you see all those tattoos they have? lol.

Thanks for reporting that! It's just a matter of time before word of this gets out (assuming WMATA management doesn't curtail this), and it'll be one the news. Then I'll say "HEY, that was reported here first!!"

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"Loungin' "

Metroman,

Another piece of work for the annals, courtesy of my neighbor.

Stay cool,

Paul H.

Ah yes...nothing like curling up with the latest romance novel...on the train! "Doors Closing!" "STFU, I'm trying to read!"

Hey, she's got something in common with the RideOn bus driver!!!

Thanks neighbor!!

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"From You to Me Submissions"

I wish I could afford a car so I wouldn't have to deal with these people on public transportation!

1. Yuppie ParentsI have never seen such passive parents in my life. The train was single tracking this weekend, and we were stuck at Dupont Circle for quite a while, waiting for the train to single track. Throughout this whole time, a little girl threw a fit. She blamed her parents for the train not moving, and said she hated them. She also proceeded to kick and scream at her father. What does he do? He speaks to her in this passive manner and lets her hit him. The mother, reading her magazine, pleads for her daughter to stop hitting her father. I got some of it on video, and near the end you can see the daughter hitting her father. My reaction to this varied between laughter and disgust. What kind of self-respecting adult lets their child, who's a fraction of their size, hit them? Only when the train started moving again did the little girl become "Daddy's Little Angel" again.

2. Bad Boys on the Circulator

I notice a huge difference in the rider demographics of the Circulator during mornings and evenings. The mornings the Circulator is full of people heading to work, but in the evening the Circulator becomes dominated by obnoxious teens.

When I boarded the bus, the only seat available had a bag of sunflower seeds on the floor in front of it.

And I wouldn't have been surprised if the boys in the photo and video I submitted did that.

These boys were obnoxious. One had his bony knees in the aisle when I tried to get through, and I made him move. Two other women who boarded were too afraid to say anything, so they stopped right where his knees were blocking the aisle.

Then these boys proceeded to laugh, curse, eat junk and litter. In the photo I submitted, you can see Doritos under the one boy's foot. They threw them on the floor and didn't care. Then they dared each other to eat them off the floor. You can see some of their bad behavior in the video submitted.

They then blew up their empty Subway and Doritos bags, and slammed them hard so they exploded. More laughter.

I was being a typical passive-aggressive DC citizen at first, just watching the bad behavior unfold. When they pushed the button to open the door and threw their trash right out the door, I'd had enough. I cursed these boys out, told them they were "useless" and "worthless" and told them they wouldn't amount to anything. At first they giggled when I said those things, and I replied with "So you think it's funny you're worthless?" One started to get mad and quiet and another gave the typical "Don't respond to her, let her talk" response, but I didn't let down. They told me I was "crazy" and "psycho" and "racist against my own" (why is it when one black person calls another black person on their bad behavior, it's "racist"?) and I said "I don't care if you think I'm crazy or psycho because your opinion of me is worthless." And at the end of my rant the bus opened at my stop, so it was a perfect exit.

The reason why these kids run around like dummies in this city is because no one disciplines them. No one punishes them when they litter, curse, make too much noise or act disrespectful. People act afraid of them (like the women who didn't make the kid with his knees in the aisle move), they see this and they take advantage. Their parents aren't doing shit to raise them. If more adults step in and call these kids on their idiotic behavior, maybe things will start to change.

But until then I hope to hit the lottery jackpot and win a million dollars so I'll never have to deal with this drama on a bus or train again!

Damn.

1. I hate to see those types of parents. The first thing that always comes to my (and probably everyone else's ) mind is how quick my ass would've been gettin tore up by a belt. Or how I would've been quelled by a ninja-like black slap. We need to go back to grassroots ass whoopings! I need someone to introduce a bill for this in the senate or something!

2. Kudos to you for addressing the kids. Often enough, we just tend to ignore this type of behavior. While your words might not have had an immediate effect on their antics, I bet (or at least hope) they will think twice before they act as if they have no home training. Unfortunately, they probably DON'T have any home training. The pack mentality is what irks me. Why are you trying to show off for your friends? Ohhh to be young and dumb.

Thanks for the pics, and thanks for the vids as well!!

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"Pics"
Metro Man -

Here is a picture of a sweet mullet

and someone who has found a new way to get comfy on the metro.

I tell ya, the mullet is the best multi-purpose hairstyle ever invented. Business up front, party in the back! Perfect for the professional employee who enjoys a good happy hour, or rock concert after work.

Thanks for the pics!! Have you been clicking th advertisements here? *glaring stare*
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"WTF WMATA?"

So I spent some time visiting the parents in California this week. Rather than drive my ass to the airport, they dropped me off at a BART station and said good luck. $10.55 and 1 hour and 30 minutes later, I finally get to the airport.

So we all know metro trains are all now manual and stopping at the end of the platforms because a system to precisely stop trains just doesn't exist. But somehow, BART can do it? I guess it's sorcery.

Before picture:

After pic:

Those are both iPhone so sorry about the quality.

And no good WTF moments on my sojurn. Everyone was decidedly noal. The Bay must have known I was chronicling for MetroMan and behaved.

The sad thing is, those "stop here, dumbass!" indicators won't work on metro. Train operators have proven themselves to lack short term memory. (Did I mention last week I was on a train headed to "Shady Glen", according to the operator?) Underneath the plaftorm there are numbered placards, visible to the train operator. "4", "6", "8"...indicating where to stop for the corrseponding train length. Where has that gotten us?

Oh, and LMAO! @ your parents not taking you to the airport! "TUCK & ROLL junior!!" (as they flip you the bird)

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"Wet Seats on Yellow Line"

Hi Metroman,

I won't bore you with my growing disgust for the red line's afternoonrush hour delays. Instead, I wanted to point out that Metrobuses aren't the only Metrovehicles with leakage problems. On my way home from Happy Hour last night, I was shocked to see water dripping into my metro car on the yellow line! (please see photo) What makes this particularly scary is

1) we had just come from the tunnel under the Potomac and

2) it wasn't raining.

Good thing it was my stop soon! Keep up the good work!

Long time reader - first time writer!

Heyyy!!

I appreciate you FINALLY writing to me. WTF took you so long!?! lol j/k! This scenario here is baffling indeed. We haven't had any rain in a while, so where is the water coming from? You mentioned the tunnel under the Potomac, but the Yellow line crosses above the river. Hmmmm... Judging by that seat (which I hate...because you get squished by people in the double seat perpendicular to it), I'm gonna go on a limb and say thats at the end of the car. I think the ceilings at the ends of the cars house the air conditioning units. I bet this was condensation dripping from said a/c unit. Thats the best that I could come up with!

How was happy hour? Where'd you go? Can I come next time?

That's all for this week's mailbag folks. GOT DAMN that was a lot! I hope you all have a great weekend. I don't have much on tap. Just working at my p/t job, and doing some overtime here at my main job. Fun times, right?